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The darker side of Magic

Ever since the famous short story "The Monkey's Paw," books, movies, and TV shows have served up the moral that using magic has a price, and may have unforeseen consequences, so word your wishes carefully. Here at Network Magic, our Dev team is charged with making the magic happen, and us lucky folk in QA make sure that when the volunteer from the audience gets placed in a box and is sawn in half, there is no bloody mess to clean up afterward.

Part of this means anticipating how users may have already set up their network, what other applications they might have installed on their computers, and what is already broken before Network Magic is even installed. Sounds simple enough, but experience has taught me that this is a task even the friendly folks in Redmond don’t have the resources to adequately address. It is a common strategy in software testing and in science to try to reduce the variables in any testing scenario so that when something goes wrong you can track it down, but such ideals are no match for what so many REAL users have got going at home.

When our friendly Customer Support team comes to us with what looks like a bug that we missed despite our best efforts, often tracking down the issue means setting up a test PC with a set of applications like what the troubled user is running at home. It is not unusual that we won’t even make it to the point of installing Network Magic before things start to get hairy. There is a word for what happens to Windows when you’ve got too many competing applications running at the same time – they call it “WinRot”!

My advice for happy computing and happy living goes as follows:


  1. If your system tray icons after booting your PC reach from the lower right all the way over to your Start button, you’ve installed too much! Uninstall that WMA to MP3 converter you used once in 2003 today!

  2. One firewall, one anti-spyware, and one anti-virus with some Network Magic to glue it all together is good enough! Piling on more of the same will hurt your PC more than all of the spyware, key-stroke loggers, and internet worms that you are seeking to avoid. A security-conscious family member of mine once described to me how he checked his email in the morning from his Windows 98 PC. First he powered on his computer. Then he went upstairs to start a pot of coffee. When the coffee was done, he would head back downstairs with his cup of coffee, and by that time his PC was probably ready to go. At that point, you don’t need to run another search for spyware that might be slowing down your system -- you need a twelve-step program.

  3. When it gets bad enough, just bite the bullet and re-install Windows. It will hurt a lot, but like getting your stomach stapled, sometimes all that pain is for the greater good. From there, just re-install what you need to make it all work together for you again. There is nothing like seeing that freshly-installed OS boot in mere seconds to make you re-appreciate how fast that expensive computer really is. Much like my house – when I move all of the furniture out of a room to do some painting or remodeling, I can’t help but think my house feels so much bigger and nicer without all of that stuff!

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Comments

When I was younger, I used to reinstall Windows every couple of months just to keep things running smoothly. That was fine back then, but now I don't have the time to do that kind of stuff. Plus, it seems lame to me that I would need to go to that extreme just to get my system running better. I'm starting to think "Winrot" is a big conspiracy driven by the hardware and OS vendors to get people thinking they need a new computer before they actually do.

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